Thursday, 19 January 2012

Not a great start to the exams.

THIS WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN YESTERDAY, I JUST FORGOT TO POST IT. JUST REWIND BACK TO YESTERDAY AND CONTINUE READING :)

I arrived at school at 7am! Yes, 7 in the morning! Your probably thinking 'WTF, what a keeno!' but I have my reasons. Kira and I were going to go to a morning revision class before our exam which started at 9. ( it went better than yesterday's revision lesson. My chemistry teacher forgot to turn up and so Kira and I had to wait a whole hour for him to turn up!)

I woke up this morning feeling fresh and ready. I was ready for this exam maaan. I felt as though it had all sunk into my head and I was as prepared as I could be. And so I should have felt seeing as I had been revising since October!

So at 9.00 my exam began. I had one hour to complete the exam. I went in feeling confident and I generally thought I was actually going to do pretty well! I opened the first page. Shit. That's all there is to describe it. But from previous lecturing I knew the first thing I SHOULDNT do is panic. Just think through it and take some deep breaths. I finally concluded on my final answers. By the time I had gone through the whole paper I soon realised I had guessed pretty much every answer. Great!:( I didn't know what the words meant or what anything was and all the practise papers we had been given from school were completley different to the exam!

ive never had an hour go past so quickly, i looked at the clock as it read 9.10. i looked again.. BAM ITS 9.50. 10 minutes left!!

time was up. i had guessed pretty much all the questions. i literally felt like crying. all this work and effort ive put in and none of the stuff came up!! :( grr!

i felt more reasurred when quite a few people said the same thing as me. 'fuck. what did those words bloody mean? that was hard! ive definitely failed'. that was exactly how i was feeling. pissed off. i generally think ill be lucky to get a G (the grade before ungraded).

my mum offered to come and pick me up after school. i didnt quite understand, she had cancelled her fitness class just to pick me up from school? i had sent her a text at break saying how bad it went, being the lovely mother she is she replied with 'oh hun... it really doesnt matter... im so proud you have tried so hard. please dont worry at all!!! you shouldnt even be taking your gcses yet! enjoy your day and put it behind you. i love you.' this was a lot better than what my dad had to say.. 'if you get a F your grounded for 3 months.' great! i hoped he was joking. my mum came and picked me up and asked if i wanted to go out somewhere with her. perhaps to get a coffee at starbucks or something. i didnt want to, i quite honestly wanted to go home and cry. i feel quite bad now because she made the effort to come and take me out and i refused /:

the car journey home wasnt great either. i began explaining how everything i had been revising over which seemed like forever didnt come up once. NOT ONCE! lets just say i started crying in the car. this is just the beginning!

we got home and i immediately ran up to my room and jumped into my bed. my mum soon followed me up. when im upset i have a weird way of pulling myself together. i find speaking really fast and saying a load of things all at once (which arent necessarily true). before it had got to that stage my mum decided she would call my chemistry teacher. they had a loooonggg conversation, in this time i cuddled my dog and tried wiping my tears away. the phone call's purpose wasnt just because of my failure to the exam, but also because i must be in the class with the most naughtiest people you could ever meet. i really wonder why they even bother going to school. we have to stop ever 2 minutes, i thought this may be why we didnt know much because we didnt have time to study the whole unit maybe? she came back in and explained everything.

bless her heart, she was basically in tears too. she was upset because she saw how hard i had been working and she said it seemed such a waste of effort. she then began explaining it wasnt the end of the world, nor the end of having a career. it soon cheered me up :) she told me she failed pretty much all her gcses but she still managed to get a well paid job which she hugely enjoys. we then spent the next 10 minutes cuddling and discussing the rest of it.


MY DAD WAS JOKING ABOUT GROUNDING ME, THANK GOODNESS. I REALISE IM NOT INTELLIGENT, BUT I TRIED MY BEST AND THATS ALL I COULD DO.

I REALISE I WROTE THIS AS SORT OF A BADLY WRITTEN STORY. SOZZZLESSS!

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