Wow. I just spent a good half an hour or so looking through my old blogs on this website. I completely forgot about this website, and found it rather amusing to see the way i used to write.
A lot has changed since the last blog i did, (which was last year!) I feel i now have a completely different life than the one i lived last year.
My parents are now divorced. Last year i think I wrote about the arguing and the split up. Now, a year on, they have finally been divorced. It has been a stressful year, not being easy for any of us! My dad moved on very quickly to another woman, whilst my mum remained single. My dad is now officially with this girl, so is now his 'girlfriend'. Mum is also still single. The atmosphere of the house feels different. Different in a good way. There is no arguing anymore. It is much more peaceful.
Rowing has processed a lot for me and my crew since last year. We have started winning races and have really got our name out there. We are becoming increasingly successful. The hard training is finally starting to pay off!
Education is hectic. Exams are hectic. School life is hectic! I always knew that GCSE's would become very stressful, requiring a lot of hard work. However, i underestimated my knowledge of what exactly it would be like. It is soo stressful. With 101 different things needing to be accomplished you barely have time to take a break. Evenings are filled with homework, coursework and revision. After school hours are spent catching up on coursework. Morning hours before school are spent revising. GCSE's are stressful!
It is now the Easter term, therefore, i have two weeks off school to re-group! I was fascinated by how much i have changed as a person since last year! The previous blogs interested me. I hope i will continue with more blogs, which will hopefully be more interesting as i have matured hugely since last year.
More blogs to come!
Monday, 1 April 2013
Thursday, 16 February 2012
how do you know when your in love?
(BARE WITH ME, THIS COULD BE A LONG POST)
so this boy, well i say 'this boy' really i mean one of my best friends, keeps going on about us getting together. i have known him since i was 3, we've sort of grown up together.
i had been saying i didn't want a boyfriend at the moment for ever so long and that i wanted one when everyone was older and more mature. well a while back, really i mean the other day, i decided i didn't want to wait till any specific time to get a boyfriend. maybe i want to have one in my childhood, to have fun with and to mess around with, understanding that it wont last forever. so last night i decided i would tell James (this boy). guess what happened? he asked me out -_- really shouldn't have told him!
lets get this clear. i feel as though i love him in my head, but I've felt like that for yeeaaars. when im with him i feel as though we are just friends, nothing more. but when im not with him i feel like i really love him. is that normal? o.O i cant see myself doing 'sexual things' to/with him, and i cant even see myself being with him. the negative sort of outweighs the positive. WHAT DO I DO?
having been through a counselling experience, i had learnt that when you don't know what to do ALWAYS get someone else's opinion on it. that's exactly what i did. i decided i would start off slow and ask 'how do you know when your in love?'
person 1- 'when your willing to take a bullet for them. when you care more for them than you care about yourself. when you willing to do whatever they want just to make them happy. when you see them you get shivers down your spine. when they are perfect to you. that's what i think.'
person 2- 'well, that's a difficult question, is different for everyone. if you get butterflies every time you see him, if you miss them as soon as they leave and you just know your in love.'
they were probably the shortest definitions. okkk, out of that the only things i feel for James is i would take a bullet (but then i would take a bullet for every human being "/ ), i care more about him than myself, im willing to do whatever he wants just to make him happy and i sometimes get butterflies.
i was speaking to a good old friend of mine last night (BUMCHEEK!) she gave me a good old lecture. we came to a conclusion...
im in love with the idea of love.
perhaps it was loneliness, jealousy, desperation that made me change my mind about being in a relationship during my childhood. but there's no point rushing into one with someone who you don't even love.
'just wait until the time is right'
so this boy, well i say 'this boy' really i mean one of my best friends, keeps going on about us getting together. i have known him since i was 3, we've sort of grown up together.
i had been saying i didn't want a boyfriend at the moment for ever so long and that i wanted one when everyone was older and more mature. well a while back, really i mean the other day, i decided i didn't want to wait till any specific time to get a boyfriend. maybe i want to have one in my childhood, to have fun with and to mess around with, understanding that it wont last forever. so last night i decided i would tell James (this boy). guess what happened? he asked me out -_- really shouldn't have told him!
lets get this clear. i feel as though i love him in my head, but I've felt like that for yeeaaars. when im with him i feel as though we are just friends, nothing more. but when im not with him i feel like i really love him. is that normal? o.O i cant see myself doing 'sexual things' to/with him, and i cant even see myself being with him. the negative sort of outweighs the positive. WHAT DO I DO?
having been through a counselling experience, i had learnt that when you don't know what to do ALWAYS get someone else's opinion on it. that's exactly what i did. i decided i would start off slow and ask 'how do you know when your in love?'
person 1- 'when your willing to take a bullet for them. when you care more for them than you care about yourself. when you willing to do whatever they want just to make them happy. when you see them you get shivers down your spine. when they are perfect to you. that's what i think.'
person 2- 'well, that's a difficult question, is different for everyone. if you get butterflies every time you see him, if you miss them as soon as they leave and you just know your in love.'
they were probably the shortest definitions. okkk, out of that the only things i feel for James is i would take a bullet (but then i would take a bullet for every human being "/ ), i care more about him than myself, im willing to do whatever he wants just to make him happy and i sometimes get butterflies.
i was speaking to a good old friend of mine last night (BUMCHEEK!) she gave me a good old lecture. we came to a conclusion...
im in love with the idea of love.
perhaps it was loneliness, jealousy, desperation that made me change my mind about being in a relationship during my childhood. but there's no point rushing into one with someone who you don't even love.
'just wait until the time is right'
Monday, 23 January 2012
The symptoms of growing up
ive always been an immature kid, i cant lie about that. i am still a very immature girl to this very day. however, i have grown up massively since year 7. even i have to admit that to myself.
here are the symptoms of growing up:
1) you refuse to leave the house without at least a bit of make up on.
2) you take showers too often, whereas you used to stay as long as you could without having one.
3) you take looooonnngggg showers!
4) you care about how you look when you go out, even if its just a trip to the supermarket!
5) you become extremely flirty and tease all the boys/girls.
6) you keep your room tidy.
7) you do jobs around the house, without arguing or expecting anything in return. in fact, you may begin to ask what jobs you can do to help.
8) your relationship gets better with family members.
9) you fall in love with the idea of shopping. and begin going nearly every weekend!
10) you attend parties like every week! thats the great part about it all!
11) you begin worrying about your looks and so get some things adjusted. (eye brows being shapped, upper lip being waxed, facials.)
12) you paint your nails A LOT.
13) you become seriously happy :D sometimes for no reason!
14) you lose your virginity :) <--- yep, thats part of growing up!
15) you fall madly in love.
16) you try to get in bed as early as possible! im not kidding, i used to stay up till silly hours in the morning just because i didnt want to go to sleep... now im doing everything i can to get into bed as early as 6! oh i do love sleep now :) i have actually noticed how much effect it has on me at school.
17) your friendship groups slowly begin to change.
18) you begin to work on your figure. doing as much exercise as you can and eating very healthily.
19) you build more confidence.
20) you brush your teeth every single night and also wash your face :)
im 100% sure ive got a load more of growing up to come. i shall update you as to what changes are going on! this whole 'growing up' thing is really quite cool :) ive got to say, i am enjoying the process :)
here are the symptoms of growing up:
1) you refuse to leave the house without at least a bit of make up on.
2) you take showers too often, whereas you used to stay as long as you could without having one.
3) you take looooonnngggg showers!
4) you care about how you look when you go out, even if its just a trip to the supermarket!
5) you become extremely flirty and tease all the boys/girls.
6) you keep your room tidy.
7) you do jobs around the house, without arguing or expecting anything in return. in fact, you may begin to ask what jobs you can do to help.
8) your relationship gets better with family members.
9) you fall in love with the idea of shopping. and begin going nearly every weekend!
10) you attend parties like every week! thats the great part about it all!
11) you begin worrying about your looks and so get some things adjusted. (eye brows being shapped, upper lip being waxed, facials.)
12) you paint your nails A LOT.
13) you become seriously happy :D sometimes for no reason!
14) you lose your virginity :) <--- yep, thats part of growing up!
15) you fall madly in love.
16) you try to get in bed as early as possible! im not kidding, i used to stay up till silly hours in the morning just because i didnt want to go to sleep... now im doing everything i can to get into bed as early as 6! oh i do love sleep now :) i have actually noticed how much effect it has on me at school.
17) your friendship groups slowly begin to change.
18) you begin to work on your figure. doing as much exercise as you can and eating very healthily.
19) you build more confidence.
20) you brush your teeth every single night and also wash your face :)
im 100% sure ive got a load more of growing up to come. i shall update you as to what changes are going on! this whole 'growing up' thing is really quite cool :) ive got to say, i am enjoying the process :)
Saturday, 21 January 2012
i love my mummy.
my mum isnt one of the over-protective mums, strict mums, forceful mums, nor is she one who makes my decisions for me. my mum is a great mum and i couldnt choose a better one.
when im ill:
my mum comforts me, its like she knows exactly how im feeling. she tells me i should just have the day off school, even though im totally cool with going in because i dont want to mess up her day plans. she doesnt mind. when im literally throwing up, she ties my hair up, rubs my back and tells me its ok. she grabs me all the medicines in the house and asks me which one i would prefer. she makes my bed and tells me to just miss a day off school.
when im in that SERIOUSLY tired mood:
she doesnt get cross at me because im being a moody cow. she understands im a typical teenager and when ive reached my time of being run down and tired, she gives me my space and doesnt dare to argue with me. she tells me to stop whatever im doing and just to go to bed, she will finish it for me. she tells me not to wash my face or brush my teeth. 'one night wont hurt.' as she would say.
when something is bothering me:
she can always tell when im upset. always, no doubt about that. even when im trying so hard not to show it. she just knows. she first tries talking to me, trying to see whats wrong. when i dont want to tell her, she respects that and trys other methods. she then tries cheering me up, this could be taking me out or simply going on just dance :) she understands my age and knows i could be having friendship problems, boyfriend problems or any other silly matters. i have an awesome mum, i cant lie.
my mum is my adviser, my guidance, my help line, but most importantly, shes my best friend. she cant be replaced and she doesnt stab me in the back. i have the most wonderful mother, im so proud to have her as a mother. my relationship is so very close with her, i dont think we could get on better. we never argue like we used to when i was younger. its just perfect. she never judges me, nor does laugh at my mistakes. she is the most generous human you could ever meet, she takes after my nan. i love my mum.
when im ill:
my mum comforts me, its like she knows exactly how im feeling. she tells me i should just have the day off school, even though im totally cool with going in because i dont want to mess up her day plans. she doesnt mind. when im literally throwing up, she ties my hair up, rubs my back and tells me its ok. she grabs me all the medicines in the house and asks me which one i would prefer. she makes my bed and tells me to just miss a day off school.
when im in that SERIOUSLY tired mood:
she doesnt get cross at me because im being a moody cow. she understands im a typical teenager and when ive reached my time of being run down and tired, she gives me my space and doesnt dare to argue with me. she tells me to stop whatever im doing and just to go to bed, she will finish it for me. she tells me not to wash my face or brush my teeth. 'one night wont hurt.' as she would say.
when something is bothering me:
she can always tell when im upset. always, no doubt about that. even when im trying so hard not to show it. she just knows. she first tries talking to me, trying to see whats wrong. when i dont want to tell her, she respects that and trys other methods. she then tries cheering me up, this could be taking me out or simply going on just dance :) she understands my age and knows i could be having friendship problems, boyfriend problems or any other silly matters. i have an awesome mum, i cant lie.
my mum is my adviser, my guidance, my help line, but most importantly, shes my best friend. she cant be replaced and she doesnt stab me in the back. i have the most wonderful mother, im so proud to have her as a mother. my relationship is so very close with her, i dont think we could get on better. we never argue like we used to when i was younger. its just perfect. she never judges me, nor does laugh at my mistakes. she is the most generous human you could ever meet, she takes after my nan. i love my mum.
Friday, 20 January 2012
bestfriends
i have the two most amazing best friends: James & Alea (aka Rocket.) lets start with rocket....
Alea is the most lovely, bubbely person you could meet. if you ever see me at school, thats who ill be with. we have tended to have left our other 'girl' friends and now hang around, just the two of us while we eat. if im honest, its so much cooler than sitting in a massive group like we used to do. we get to discuss things that we only tell each other and just generally have our own time. once weve eaten, we go outside and meet the boys. the boys being James and about 20 others. we then spend our lunch times very strangley, each being different. we may choose to just flirt with each other, to arrange weekends, discuss who everyone wants to get off with at parties, play badminton, play football, anything really :)
just like everyone, rocket has her faults. she has a very stubborn side, which quite honestly gets on my nervs sometimes! i of course dont show it, i just agree to do what she wants. she also worrys about everything! seriously, everything! she NEVER wants to TRY smoking, not once. i mean, i know smoking is bad for you and all but how can you live a life without trying it, not once? i dont quite understand. she also doesnt like getting drunk, shell have the small amounts of alcohol but nothing more than 4%! how boring must that be?:O shes always our sober friend who tends to supervise us, which is always good i suppose. she never wants to take drugs, fair enough, im with her on that one. she doesnt want to have sex until shes 17/18 or something ridiculas? this one i dont quite understand. even if shes in love she doesnt want to. she was explaining it was because of getting diseases or something? i lost her after the part she explained she was going to wait that long! come on, some rules were made to be broken :) but ya know what, shes my best friend and i love her. i respect her choices and her way of life (despite finding it unhuman.) i have some incredible memories with her.
James. ive know him since i was 3 and weve always been very close. we did once have a 3 year relationship, i dont quite remember breaking up with him but it happened one way or another. we know that were in love with each other, but weve decided to just stay friends for now. of course, we have future plans for when were out of school. but right now, relationships at school never last because people always get involved. hes an awesome guy and a great laugh to be with :)
we are usually found out in a large group. usual trip: bus to my house, drop our stuff off and get changed, walk down to asda to buy food, drinks and condoms, then a walk to THE field to play 7 minutes in heaven, truth or dare and silly other games, then a walk back to mine for the night :) sounds boring? its great fun!
Thursday, 19 January 2012
Not a great start to the exams.
THIS WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN YESTERDAY, I JUST FORGOT TO POST IT. JUST REWIND BACK TO YESTERDAY AND CONTINUE READING :)
I arrived at school at 7am! Yes, 7 in the morning! Your probably thinking 'WTF, what a keeno!' but I have my reasons. Kira and I were going to go to a morning revision class before our exam which started at 9. ( it went better than yesterday's revision lesson. My chemistry teacher forgot to turn up and so Kira and I had to wait a whole hour for him to turn up!)
I woke up this morning feeling fresh and ready. I was ready for this exam maaan. I felt as though it had all sunk into my head and I was as prepared as I could be. And so I should have felt seeing as I had been revising since October!
So at 9.00 my exam began. I had one hour to complete the exam. I went in feeling confident and I generally thought I was actually going to do pretty well! I opened the first page. Shit. That's all there is to describe it. But from previous lecturing I knew the first thing I SHOULDNT do is panic. Just think through it and take some deep breaths. I finally concluded on my final answers. By the time I had gone through the whole paper I soon realised I had guessed pretty much every answer. Great!:( I didn't know what the words meant or what anything was and all the practise papers we had been given from school were completley different to the exam!
ive never had an hour go past so quickly, i looked at the clock as it read 9.10. i looked again.. BAM ITS 9.50. 10 minutes left!!
time was up. i had guessed pretty much all the questions. i literally felt like crying. all this work and effort ive put in and none of the stuff came up!! :( grr!
i felt more reasurred when quite a few people said the same thing as me. 'fuck. what did those words bloody mean? that was hard! ive definitely failed'. that was exactly how i was feeling. pissed off. i generally think ill be lucky to get a G (the grade before ungraded).
my mum offered to come and pick me up after school. i didnt quite understand, she had cancelled her fitness class just to pick me up from school? i had sent her a text at break saying how bad it went, being the lovely mother she is she replied with 'oh hun... it really doesnt matter... im so proud you have tried so hard. please dont worry at all!!! you shouldnt even be taking your gcses yet! enjoy your day and put it behind you. i love you.' this was a lot better than what my dad had to say.. 'if you get a F your grounded for 3 months.' great! i hoped he was joking. my mum came and picked me up and asked if i wanted to go out somewhere with her. perhaps to get a coffee at starbucks or something. i didnt want to, i quite honestly wanted to go home and cry. i feel quite bad now because she made the effort to come and take me out and i refused /:
the car journey home wasnt great either. i began explaining how everything i had been revising over which seemed like forever didnt come up once. NOT ONCE! lets just say i started crying in the car. this is just the beginning!
we got home and i immediately ran up to my room and jumped into my bed. my mum soon followed me up. when im upset i have a weird way of pulling myself together. i find speaking really fast and saying a load of things all at once (which arent necessarily true). before it had got to that stage my mum decided she would call my chemistry teacher. they had a loooonggg conversation, in this time i cuddled my dog and tried wiping my tears away. the phone call's purpose wasnt just because of my failure to the exam, but also because i must be in the class with the most naughtiest people you could ever meet. i really wonder why they even bother going to school. we have to stop ever 2 minutes, i thought this may be why we didnt know much because we didnt have time to study the whole unit maybe? she came back in and explained everything.
bless her heart, she was basically in tears too. she was upset because she saw how hard i had been working and she said it seemed such a waste of effort. she then began explaining it wasnt the end of the world, nor the end of having a career. it soon cheered me up :) she told me she failed pretty much all her gcses but she still managed to get a well paid job which she hugely enjoys. we then spent the next 10 minutes cuddling and discussing the rest of it.
MY DAD WAS JOKING ABOUT GROUNDING ME, THANK GOODNESS. I REALISE IM NOT INTELLIGENT, BUT I TRIED MY BEST AND THATS ALL I COULD DO.
I REALISE I WROTE THIS AS SORT OF A BADLY WRITTEN STORY. SOZZZLESSS!
I arrived at school at 7am! Yes, 7 in the morning! Your probably thinking 'WTF, what a keeno!' but I have my reasons. Kira and I were going to go to a morning revision class before our exam which started at 9. ( it went better than yesterday's revision lesson. My chemistry teacher forgot to turn up and so Kira and I had to wait a whole hour for him to turn up!)
I woke up this morning feeling fresh and ready. I was ready for this exam maaan. I felt as though it had all sunk into my head and I was as prepared as I could be. And so I should have felt seeing as I had been revising since October!
So at 9.00 my exam began. I had one hour to complete the exam. I went in feeling confident and I generally thought I was actually going to do pretty well! I opened the first page. Shit. That's all there is to describe it. But from previous lecturing I knew the first thing I SHOULDNT do is panic. Just think through it and take some deep breaths. I finally concluded on my final answers. By the time I had gone through the whole paper I soon realised I had guessed pretty much every answer. Great!:( I didn't know what the words meant or what anything was and all the practise papers we had been given from school were completley different to the exam!
ive never had an hour go past so quickly, i looked at the clock as it read 9.10. i looked again.. BAM ITS 9.50. 10 minutes left!!
time was up. i had guessed pretty much all the questions. i literally felt like crying. all this work and effort ive put in and none of the stuff came up!! :( grr!
i felt more reasurred when quite a few people said the same thing as me. 'fuck. what did those words bloody mean? that was hard! ive definitely failed'. that was exactly how i was feeling. pissed off. i generally think ill be lucky to get a G (the grade before ungraded).
my mum offered to come and pick me up after school. i didnt quite understand, she had cancelled her fitness class just to pick me up from school? i had sent her a text at break saying how bad it went, being the lovely mother she is she replied with 'oh hun... it really doesnt matter... im so proud you have tried so hard. please dont worry at all!!! you shouldnt even be taking your gcses yet! enjoy your day and put it behind you. i love you.' this was a lot better than what my dad had to say.. 'if you get a F your grounded for 3 months.' great! i hoped he was joking. my mum came and picked me up and asked if i wanted to go out somewhere with her. perhaps to get a coffee at starbucks or something. i didnt want to, i quite honestly wanted to go home and cry. i feel quite bad now because she made the effort to come and take me out and i refused /:
the car journey home wasnt great either. i began explaining how everything i had been revising over which seemed like forever didnt come up once. NOT ONCE! lets just say i started crying in the car. this is just the beginning!
we got home and i immediately ran up to my room and jumped into my bed. my mum soon followed me up. when im upset i have a weird way of pulling myself together. i find speaking really fast and saying a load of things all at once (which arent necessarily true). before it had got to that stage my mum decided she would call my chemistry teacher. they had a loooonggg conversation, in this time i cuddled my dog and tried wiping my tears away. the phone call's purpose wasnt just because of my failure to the exam, but also because i must be in the class with the most naughtiest people you could ever meet. i really wonder why they even bother going to school. we have to stop ever 2 minutes, i thought this may be why we didnt know much because we didnt have time to study the whole unit maybe? she came back in and explained everything.
bless her heart, she was basically in tears too. she was upset because she saw how hard i had been working and she said it seemed such a waste of effort. she then began explaining it wasnt the end of the world, nor the end of having a career. it soon cheered me up :) she told me she failed pretty much all her gcses but she still managed to get a well paid job which she hugely enjoys. we then spent the next 10 minutes cuddling and discussing the rest of it.
MY DAD WAS JOKING ABOUT GROUNDING ME, THANK GOODNESS. I REALISE IM NOT INTELLIGENT, BUT I TRIED MY BEST AND THATS ALL I COULD DO.
I REALISE I WROTE THIS AS SORT OF A BADLY WRITTEN STORY. SOZZZLESSS!
Thursday, 12 January 2012
it'll all be over in a few years :)
my friends took their first GCSE exam today. im not in their science class because sadly i couldnt live up to the expectations of being intelligent, therefore they were studying biology. my chemistry exam is next Wednesday. im taking the foundation paper and so the highest grade you can get is a C. my predicted grade is a C, however, i sadly dont think i will be able to achieve this :( i dont understand chemistry and so remembering it is like trying to make a cake with no ingrediants. it just doesnt work.
REVISING IS SO HARD :( ONLY 6 DAYS LEFT AND I WONT HAVE TO REVISE FOR SCIENCE FOR 4 MONTHS OR SO :D then i have to start revising for my maths exam which is also coming up. my teacher is expecting us to get B's and above :( NO PRESSURE.
Sorry for not writing for a while. i hope you understand how busy life is at the moment. :)
REVISING IS SO HARD :( ONLY 6 DAYS LEFT AND I WONT HAVE TO REVISE FOR SCIENCE FOR 4 MONTHS OR SO :D then i have to start revising for my maths exam which is also coming up. my teacher is expecting us to get B's and above :( NO PRESSURE.
Sorry for not writing for a while. i hope you understand how busy life is at the moment. :)
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
I'm coming back!!
I apologise for my absence. I feel I am a terrible blogger. But, if you understood what's been going on with my life recently, maybe you would begin to forgive me:) I'm going to start writing again this week, explaining everything!( well only the things which I'm allowed to post ont the Internet!!)
So happy right now:D:D
Speak soooooon :D:D
P.s: IM SORRY FOR ABADONIG YOU ALL FOR A MONTH OR SO :'(
So happy right now:D:D
Speak soooooon :D:D
P.s: IM SORRY FOR ABADONIG YOU ALL FOR A MONTH OR SO :'(
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
it's beginning to feel a lot like christmas
i love Christmas. its definitely my favourite celebration of the year, beats birthdays. i dont know why, i just like the thought of everyone sharing all the presents and being with your family :) its great, pure greatness.
as you may have noticed, im going skiing on boxing day. therefore, i realise im not entitled to tones of presents as i usually am. so ive had to cut down my Christmas list :( here is it...
- Superdry coat
- someday perfume by justin bieber :P
- just dance 3 (wii)
- itunes voucher
- the inbetweeners movie <-- awesome film !
- JLS's new CD (jukebox)
- 2012 JLS calendar
- boy posters... to add to my lovely collection on my wall
- cooking/recipe books
- cooking equipment
^ thats what ive got SO far. i guarentee i will find more stuff i would like to add :)
ahh i love christmas! :') ... speaking of Christmas ...
38 DAYS, 19 HOURS, 3 MINUTES, 2O SECONDS :D:D
Monday, 14 November 2011
Swimming gala failness
I originally didnt even want to do the swimming gala. I went and saw the head of pe to ask what it was about and be automatically put my name down. Great.
I was put into 25m breast stroke, 50m breast stroke, mealdy relay and freestyle relay. I didn't want to do those races but I got on with it. We got given the choice to either stand on the diving block or start from in the pool. Everyone used the block, except me. I didn't want to risk belly flopping and completely messing all of the races up. So there I was, casually being the only one starting in the pool. So embarrassing! To say the least. It was obvious from the first race that the divers gained half the length just from the dive. So I didn't do too bad considering I had to catch up the push which I didn't have. However, I still started from the pool for the rest of the races. I'm so clever.
Terrible event. BUT luckily we got given drinks and doughnuts afterwards :D it's great going to a rich school.
I was put into 25m breast stroke, 50m breast stroke, mealdy relay and freestyle relay. I didn't want to do those races but I got on with it. We got given the choice to either stand on the diving block or start from in the pool. Everyone used the block, except me. I didn't want to risk belly flopping and completely messing all of the races up. So there I was, casually being the only one starting in the pool. So embarrassing! To say the least. It was obvious from the first race that the divers gained half the length just from the dive. So I didn't do too bad considering I had to catch up the push which I didn't have. However, I still started from the pool for the rest of the races. I'm so clever.
Terrible event. BUT luckily we got given drinks and doughnuts afterwards :D it's great going to a rich school.
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Macaulay Culkin got into drugs? :O
i loved the home alone series when i was younger. and i quite honestly still watch them occasionally. Macaulay Culkin (Kevin from home alone) got into drugs at the age of 24! seeing as he is now 31, i am clearly very late on this news.
He was caught with marijuana and dangerous substances of Xanax and sleeping pills. he began taking Xanax first. he blamed the usage of this on his anxiety and his dad who FORCED him to work as a 'star child'. he then got hooked on the drug and began smoking marijuana. BAD IDEA!!
He was caught with marijuana and dangerous substances of Xanax and sleeping pills. he began taking Xanax first. he blamed the usage of this on his anxiety and his dad who FORCED him to work as a 'star child'. he then got hooked on the drug and began smoking marijuana. BAD IDEA!!
^^^ :(
he couldn't cope with the anxiety. that's understandable, right? he doesn't do any form of drug NOW and is married to someone called 'Rachel Miner'. so his life is basically back to normal and hes off the drugs. all good :) plus, he was only in jail for four hours. however, i was upset when i found out :( but life can now move on :D
i personally don't think smoking marijuana a few times and taking Xanax can be classed as a 'drug addict'. he didn't do it very long, he soon got off the drugs. however, i guess you could argue that smoking marijuana would be safe to say you take drugs. but i disagree. so many people take drugs now-er days. i predict 65% of my school have at least tried some form of drugs before. you cant get in or out of school without being asked to buy some. im sure Macaulay Culkin regrets it though. most people would.
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Pangbourne 3k time trials
having a sleepover on Friday night was definitely not a good idea. however, saying that, i wouldn't of been able to sleep if Emily wasnt there. this was because we had just watch paranormal activity 3 and i was going to be home alone -.-
we got back to my house after the cinema at about 12am. we then watched films until we couldn't stay awake any longer. this was at about 3am.
we then had to get up at 9.45 to go and row at Pangbourne. we were completely shattered when we first woke up. within half an hour we were up and began getting dressed. we then walked over to tesco express to buy food and drinks for the whole day.
it was a 3k row. i generally thought we would do terrible. it sounded so far.
i needed a wee just as we were about to go and get in our boat. from my experience in rowing, i know that needing a wee in a race effects it HUGELY! i had to go. i dragged Lizzie all the way down to the car back, where the toilets were. they was a HUGE que. she said i had no time to go. she then dragged me all the way back. i searched for a bush on the way back, so i could at least just go in a bush. there was none. just grass. i then went and told my mum that i really needed to go. she said she would go and ask if i could skip the que. i ended up just going in this bush, where everyone could see, where cars drove passed. how embarrassing.
we had to first row 3k up to the start, moving at about 2mph, if that. we had to que all the way up, it wasn't ordered and no one knew what was going on. we just went with the flow. i was honestly so cold whilst we were waiting. i was told to take my jumper off about 40 minutes before we even began our race. i was possibly the coldest i have ever been. my hands went orange and purple, i struggled to move them. it was not a good time to feel cold.
we finally started our race. boyyy, it went quickly! i found it sooooo much easier than the 1500. that doesn't even make sense. it was definitely my favourite race i have ever done, so far. we ended up coming second :( we always seem to come second nower-days. but i cant complain, im satisfied with coming second :)
we got back to my house after the cinema at about 12am. we then watched films until we couldn't stay awake any longer. this was at about 3am.
we then had to get up at 9.45 to go and row at Pangbourne. we were completely shattered when we first woke up. within half an hour we were up and began getting dressed. we then walked over to tesco express to buy food and drinks for the whole day.
it was a 3k row. i generally thought we would do terrible. it sounded so far.
i needed a wee just as we were about to go and get in our boat. from my experience in rowing, i know that needing a wee in a race effects it HUGELY! i had to go. i dragged Lizzie all the way down to the car back, where the toilets were. they was a HUGE que. she said i had no time to go. she then dragged me all the way back. i searched for a bush on the way back, so i could at least just go in a bush. there was none. just grass. i then went and told my mum that i really needed to go. she said she would go and ask if i could skip the que. i ended up just going in this bush, where everyone could see, where cars drove passed. how embarrassing.
we had to first row 3k up to the start, moving at about 2mph, if that. we had to que all the way up, it wasn't ordered and no one knew what was going on. we just went with the flow. i was honestly so cold whilst we were waiting. i was told to take my jumper off about 40 minutes before we even began our race. i was possibly the coldest i have ever been. my hands went orange and purple, i struggled to move them. it was not a good time to feel cold.
we finally started our race. boyyy, it went quickly! i found it sooooo much easier than the 1500. that doesn't even make sense. it was definitely my favourite race i have ever done, so far. we ended up coming second :( we always seem to come second nower-days. but i cant complain, im satisfied with coming second :)
Saturday, 5 November 2011
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 IS AMAZING!
it was amazing. that's pretty much the only word to describe it.
don't get me wrong, it was scary. really rather incredibly scary. but it was soo good at the same time. loads of it made you jump, i generally thought i was going to have a heart attack. then when it got to the night bits you knew something scary was going to happen.
Emily and i were cuddling up to each other. still watching, just using each other as comfort. whilst Montanna was texting for ALL of it and kept asking us what was happening.
its generally a great film - much better than the first and second ones. i recommend going to see it - im definitely going to buy it on DVD! :)
don't get me wrong, it was scary. really rather incredibly scary. but it was soo good at the same time. loads of it made you jump, i generally thought i was going to have a heart attack. then when it got to the night bits you knew something scary was going to happen.
Emily and i were cuddling up to each other. still watching, just using each other as comfort. whilst Montanna was texting for ALL of it and kept asking us what was happening.
its generally a great film - much better than the first and second ones. i recommend going to see it - im definitely going to buy it on DVD! :)
Friday, 4 November 2011
theres no reason why things from books cant happen in reality, youve just got to have the confidence.
do you ever look at someone and think 'mmmm, he (or she) is yummmmyyy'? i do, all the time. i always want to just walk up to a hot looking boy, who also looks kind and caring, and introduce myself. one part of me says i should just go for it, whilst the other side reminds me that they may have a girlfriend and that would be hugely awkward. sadly, the negative out weighs the positive :(
i think i have read too many books. boys are always so good looking, charming, caring, kind, loving and pretty much what every girl would love to have, in books. but in reality, there is 99.9999% of finding a boy like that. the even worse part of this is, the odd boy that you do find with all those qualities is more often than not dating a complete slut. which just goes back to it being very hard to find such a dreamy boy. if they date a slut, that clearly means that looks mean a lot to them. most sluts are slags, most slags are whores, most whores are horrible people.so make that 99.99999% of finding a boy which we could descirbe as 'perfect.'
im going to go up to a fit boy at the UV foam party, and just go for it! who cares if they have a girlfriend? im not suggesting to get off with them or start dating them.
IMPORTANT:
1, im going to frankie & bennys for dinner in 3 hours. we are going to say its our friends birthday and take a cake in, when its really not.
2, im seeing paranormal activity 3 after weve eaten. so excited :) ill update you with how that goes on... sunday.
3, 50 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
4, 51 DAYS UNTIL I GO SKIING
5, my dog's teeth are falling out :( im not joking. pooor little thing.
i think i have read too many books. boys are always so good looking, charming, caring, kind, loving and pretty much what every girl would love to have, in books. but in reality, there is 99.9999% of finding a boy like that. the even worse part of this is, the odd boy that you do find with all those qualities is more often than not dating a complete slut. which just goes back to it being very hard to find such a dreamy boy. if they date a slut, that clearly means that looks mean a lot to them. most sluts are slags, most slags are whores, most whores are horrible people.so make that 99.99999% of finding a boy which we could descirbe as 'perfect.'
im going to go up to a fit boy at the UV foam party, and just go for it! who cares if they have a girlfriend? im not suggesting to get off with them or start dating them.
IMPORTANT:
1, im going to frankie & bennys for dinner in 3 hours. we are going to say its our friends birthday and take a cake in, when its really not.
2, im seeing paranormal activity 3 after weve eaten. so excited :) ill update you with how that goes on... sunday.
3, 50 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
4, 51 DAYS UNTIL I GO SKIING
5, my dog's teeth are falling out :( im not joking. pooor little thing.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
schooool photos
ive never liked school photos. however, i normally love having my photo taken. just not school ones. i have come to the conclusion to just blame it all on the school photographer. they are horrible, really freakily horrible. they have really yellow teeth which are all wonky. they definitely aren't the most attractive people on earth. its not just there appearance that gets to me (in the nicest possible way), its their personality that goes with it. such weird humans. they honestly look like they have been smoking since they could function their brains properly and have been taking class A drugs. i know this sounds cruel, but they really are this awful.
^^ there's my photo -.- ^^
oh dear, right? well actually, saying that, its a lot better than all of my other year ones. i really cant smile to save my life... as you can see. such a fake smile i had to put on. obviously i can smile, just in photos smiling doesnt really work out for me.
now my parents have about 20 copies of this because it came in a deal which they stupidly bought. -.-
IMPORTANT:
1, im seeing paranormal activity 3 tomorrow at the cinemaa.
2, 51 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!
3, 52 DAYS UNTIL I GO SKIING!
4, ive got rowing time trials on saturday :(
5, i did nearly 3 hours of ergos today, therefore im tired. THEREFORE, im going to go and have a nap.
tooooodlessss
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
homee-lonneee-lonesss
i love being home alone. i really do. i sometimes just sing as loud as i can, as i dance around the house like a three year old. its much more fun when im alone. i dont have to act grown up or mature. i get to be my own childish self, with no one there to judge me. you see, im definitely not grown up or mature. i just act like i am when im out. but not at school. nooooo. everyone at school knows how immaturely hyper active i am. school just makes me that happy :)
so if you ever get a moment when your alone, with no one to judge you. just sing, shout and dance around like you have nothing to worry about. its great for depression and stress.
GOT TO GO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE BEFORE MY FAM-A-LAMA GET HOME. AHHHHH :D
so if you ever get a moment when your alone, with no one to judge you. just sing, shout and dance around like you have nothing to worry about. its great for depression and stress.
GOT TO GO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE BEFORE MY FAM-A-LAMA GET HOME. AHHHHH :D
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
writing in past tense gives it effect? does this not just sound like iv'e risen from the dead to write it...?
It was painful. Having a black, hairy, poisonous spider crawling up you throat-like-painful. The cold, Christmas, frosty weather was definitely not helping the situation. Shivering with frostbite, i took another attempt to cough. The pain turning into agony, the spider turning into a tarantula, and the cold wind turning into icy snow each time. Just from one little cough i found myself catching my breath, hoping it was just a little cold, nothing serious. I felt my body give in as all my feelings disappeared. I heard my mum running up the stairs, screaming to get to me quick enough. My eyes closed.
^false! im not dead :) i was told to write in the past tense and start and end with a simple sentence, making the middle sentences longer. this is written a little depressingly, you may think, it may explain why it is poorly written... but theres the rough copy.
speak soooon x
Monday, 31 October 2011
awkwaaard
i hate it when you have a really awkward conversation, by text, with someone and then have to see them the next day. i don't mean a slightly awkward conversation, im talking about the most awkward conversation you can imagine!
this so very awkward conversation was held with my best friend. he is like a brother to me. we stupidly decided we would talk about how far we would go with each other... this indeed went way too far, further than i was expecting. i guess i shouldn't really say anything more before i get myself into a lot of trouble. he has a girlfriend /: who is my old best friend, which i now hate. i hate seeing them together :'( but that's just life i guess. the cause to me not texting him any longer was because he had a girlfriend. he said he would cheat on her with me :O no, that's wrong. i would never let him do that!
today was very awkward at school, but we soon got over it :)
awkwarddd timess ;P
IMPORTANT THINGS:
1, its 54 days until Christmas.
2, im going to this firework thing with Alea on Saturday, should be fun - i love fireworks :)
3, im also going ice skating, shopping and visiting the cinema a few times with Alea (on different days). to see abduction and breaking dawn when it comes out.
4, im going to a UV foam party. ive never been to one before, apparently the foam is alumnus or something?
5, im not liking how dark it is :( its been dark all day! no fair :(
(:
this so very awkward conversation was held with my best friend. he is like a brother to me. we stupidly decided we would talk about how far we would go with each other... this indeed went way too far, further than i was expecting. i guess i shouldn't really say anything more before i get myself into a lot of trouble. he has a girlfriend /: who is my old best friend, which i now hate. i hate seeing them together :'( but that's just life i guess. the cause to me not texting him any longer was because he had a girlfriend. he said he would cheat on her with me :O no, that's wrong. i would never let him do that!
today was very awkward at school, but we soon got over it :)
awkwarddd timess ;P
IMPORTANT THINGS:
1, its 54 days until Christmas.
2, im going to this firework thing with Alea on Saturday, should be fun - i love fireworks :)
3, im also going ice skating, shopping and visiting the cinema a few times with Alea (on different days). to see abduction and breaking dawn when it comes out.
4, im going to a UV foam party. ive never been to one before, apparently the foam is alumnus or something?
5, im not liking how dark it is :( its been dark all day! no fair :(
(:
Sunday, 30 October 2011
i'd be fine if i was intelligent.
i often wonder how my future is going to turn out. good? or bad? i realise it is going to very difficult to get a job, to buy a house (or at least somewhere to live), to buy a car, to get driving lessons, get into a good university and still have spear money to buy food supplies. in fact, to have all of that is very unlikely. obviously it can be achieved, but your going to have to be more intelligent than you could imagine. sadly, im not intelligent. im not afraid to admit that. i know my gcse results aren't going to be very great. however, that isn't going to stop me revising every single night up to the exam, to continue to try extremely hard at school and to go out less so i can revise. i know it will all pay off in the end.
ive got my aim. ive realised im never going to marry someone rich but who is also kind and loving. and to be honest, i would choose a loving, caring and kind man over a rich, self centred prick. i don't even know what i want to do for a living. i honestly have not a clue. im beginning to develop an interest in hair dressing. but knowing me ill change my mind in a month or so.
i sometimes wish i could get my future told by one of those freaky people, often found abroad. my mum had it done, and it was exactly right. everything she got old would happen, actually did. the only problem is, its very expensive and they are hard to find. then at least i would know if my future was going to go badly, i could change it. and it good, keep everything the same.
im sure it will turn out just fine, im just worrying. i guess :)
ive got my aim. ive realised im never going to marry someone rich but who is also kind and loving. and to be honest, i would choose a loving, caring and kind man over a rich, self centred prick. i don't even know what i want to do for a living. i honestly have not a clue. im beginning to develop an interest in hair dressing. but knowing me ill change my mind in a month or so.
i sometimes wish i could get my future told by one of those freaky people, often found abroad. my mum had it done, and it was exactly right. everything she got old would happen, actually did. the only problem is, its very expensive and they are hard to find. then at least i would know if my future was going to go badly, i could change it. and it good, keep everything the same.
im sure it will turn out just fine, im just worrying. i guess :)
Saturday, 29 October 2011
text sex? does it even exist?
i know there is phone sex, which is normally hugely awkward. but is there text sex? just a little bit of advice, if someone asks you if you want to have text sex, do NOT agree until you have found out exactly what it is. if it is something? you will probably find your phone being over loaded with inappropriate photos, and trust me you'll laugh and find it hard to resist putting them on facebook. until you realise they are wanting you to send some more photos back. that part is definitely not funny.
i guess it could mean something. because phone sex, cyber sex and all those other weirdly invented things is basically the same. you just don't see anything live, its all very descriptive and photographic. i don't even understand why they have 'sex' written at the end of them. they are most certainly not classed as having sex. so if you think your going to lose your virginity that way, sorry to break it to you, but you might want to think again :)
its such a weird life we live in today. text sex? really? whats next, x box sex? wii sex? ps3 sex? no, lets get real here. its nothing pleasant. if your that horny go and have proper sex! cyber sex, phone sex AND text sex are hugely pathetic. unless your in a long distance relationship, then its understandable and acceptable.
this is a very bizarre topic, i realise that. i just think you should all understand that it does not count as losing your virginity. :)
ALSO:
if you are trying to have sex underage and hopefully aren't planning to get pregnant. pregnancy pills will not be given to you. you have to go to a doctor to get them, a parent or guardian has to be there and you have to have a good enough reason to get them. therefore, its highly unlikely that you will be able to get them. you may as well use condoms, but maybe use an extra one or maybe even two. just in case. you can get them from toilets. most public toilets actually.
IM NOT SUGGESTING YOU HAVE SEX UNDERAGE BUT YOU KNOW... im just saying pregnancy pills are hard to get.
take the advice.. or don't... its your choice :)
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